8 Jan '08 -
This is not my usual 'Feel sorry for me' or 'Feel envious of me' entry. Just a little story from the first and only legitimate Gulf War that amuses me. It didn't even happen to me though I wish it did.
We developed a steam leak between our boilers on the ship I was serving on. We had no high pressure certified welders on board. So, we decided to get a American aicraft carrier to do the welding for us. They owed us, as one of their destroyers accidently killed two of our divers a while back...payback.
So a Petty Officer Second Class PO2, and a Leading Seaman, Killick, were dispatched with a 200 pound piece of pipe to be flown in the Aeriel Deathtrap known as a Sea King Helicopter to the American Battlegroup that was home to the Carrier.
All was well and good with the trip over. They landed and their pipe was whisked away for repairs. There were told to eat here... and there was a delay on the repairs so they could sleep here...no problem.
Nap time, the two sailors were awakend with an overhead announcement from the Carriers Captain.
He said the ship had been sailing at full speed for four hours for points unknown blah blah blah. No worries, they had their own helicpter. Wrong. That balless officer pilot took off on them hours ago, afraid he'd get out of rang of land! In the Persian Gulf!
So these two were stuck onboard with a repaired 200 pound pipe. Not a problem says the Americans, we have reserved a luxurious flight for you and will land you on an airfield ashore, destination secret. Apparently, once you're catapolted off an aircraft carrier, no amusement ride will ever thrill you again. Once they were in air, no sooner than it took to massage there hearts back in their bodies through their respective anus' than they landed at an airfield location unknown and booted off.
The plane took off, leaving two unprotected sailors on a tarmac strip with nary a building to be seen no food no water, nothing. They sat on the pipe but stood up quickly. The pipe was hot, the tarmac was hot and the sand was hot. I was told they didn't cry, but that there was lots of dust in the air. Sure.
Eventually a jeep came by with some Dutchmen or Germans in it, details were fuzzy due to swollen tongues and dehydration.
They then were dropped off at a shack in the middle of nowhwere and waited until some other national army types picked them up and said there was (In pigdin English) a Canadian in this town up ahead.
Sure enough in this ratty old hotel there was a grossly overweight, sweating Caucasion wearing what could have been an army uniform but for the massive pit stains. He had an open briefcase with a pistol on it holding money down.
The sailors felt this was a pretty surreal situation so they said "Hello".
Fat Sweaty Guy said "How much?" "Huh?" Our heroes asked. "How much money do you want" Irritated that he had no ice left in his cola. "500" "Each" They said. For a sailor free booze, food or money is a gift from King Neptune Himself.
So they got some money bought liquid and food and more liquid when some Finns came by and were actually on their way to the only Canadian airfield we had there! Off they went satiated, fed and rich!
At the airfield they came across their original Sea King and the PO2 had the Killick unload it while he sat on the original pilots chest and taught him manners. Our Officer Corp obviously teaches no sense of honour or duty because he could not for the life of him understand why the Petty Officer hit him in the nose!
Thats it, no sex, no booze but I wish it happened to me.
Later.
