31 Dec '07 - 10:31 a.m.
I think this diabetes thing has got me freaked out way too much. I havn't had an erection in four days! I ALWAYS wake up with wood. Not just a piss hardon either! Genuine, lusty throw a leg over your wife erections. That was me. Now it's just a peice of dangly flesh thats good for nothing but pissing! I will not settle for that.
I feel I have been thrown in the deep end of the diabetic pool and told to swim to the other side! My fingertips are so sore from the lancing to check to see if my meds are right. Nothing changes for shit, from fasting to eating junk my readings stay the close to the same, around 15, plus or minus a couple of points.
As a guy, I can't talk about this shit to anyone except my wife, and she doesn't want to hear about it, I'm screwed! Support groups? Not my bag! My wife is my supprt group and she better realize it soon. I have infered that maybe I should pack my bags if I heard one more 'Whatever' or 'Get over it!' come out of her mouth. And by infered I meant I said exactly that. I'm not subtle you know. She did say nothing, which kindof speaks volumes doesn't it?
This really depressed me and the wife and I got into a huge fight yesterday. My fault, (Sarcasm here), entirely! I asked her why she can't support me, or coddle me. All I can get out of her is a 'Whatever' and the occasional, spirit boosting 'Get over it!'
She is a fountain of empathy and compassion when it comes to everyone else, I want some of that. She even 'misplaced' my booking schedule and forms for my every third month blood tests. That was the only thing I had stuck to the fridge, every other useless peice of crap that those two put up are still there. It makes me wonder if $300,000 is too much life insurance?
We rented "Eastern Promises" starring Viggo Mortenson (sp?). Wow, excellent movie. I figure it didn't get any theatre time because of the naked knife fight scene in the bath house. Viggo looks like me 'down there'. no I'm no bragging. The poor man had to perform naked on camera, then crawl over other guys for this scene. I do feel for the other actors who played dead while Viggi dragged his junk across them!
No new news on the Tara/Ellie front. That would cheer me up. Warning girls, as of this moment I am not above using the old "I am mortally sick and you you guys should perform some serious girl/girl lovin' for me" card. I am low that way!
Well enough of this feeling sorry for myself crap. Next entry will be about or next mmf threesome with my cousin, again, this one lasted a couple of years....Later
