23 Dec '07 - 12:46 p.m.
I tried to get the FUCK ME BOOTS description from Tara the other day when my idiot 15 year old daughter burst in the kitchen fairly shouting "What are you two whispering about?" I explained when people are whispering, it's usually because they don't want the subject of the conversation made public. She took off to her room, another snit. Long story short, I bought the wrong pair, went back returned them and bought the good pair. I know that because I showed them to my wife before wrapping them.
Ellie, my wife has beat the decision making process out of me over the past almost two decades. It seems every choice and decision I make is automaticly vetoed or countermanded.
From buying a box of oranges to putting a finger down her throat to get rid of a bad combination of drinks... the first response is 'No". As a matter of fact, 3/4 of our conversations together begin with "No" on her part.
The box of oranges is typical and by no means isolated. At the grocery store, we go by a stack of those little oranges (mandarines?) and I want to pick them up. No she says and walks on. Fine by me, but I made up my mind to ask why she does all this refusal as a first response crap. A couple of isles later she said I could get it if I wanted it. And she had the lamest excuse for turning me down in the first place.
The finger in the throat thing was for a bad combination of drinks she had. I made her a ceasar. It was the perfect ceasar, I knew it was perfect as I was making it. I was in the mixologists zone. She said it was perfection. She downed it quick and made herself another one. And promply threw it down the sink. The sailor in me wept over the alcohal abuse...:( She proceeded to make a Baileys and milk and downed that. Stomache rumblings from the clamato juice and the milk. Hence the finger down the throat and purge routine. No. End result, projectile vomiting at a bar...
On a side note of terror...Ellies friend, Debbie, is supposed to show up today. The only redeeming factor this girl has going for her is that she introduced me and Ellie. Anything after that she has been trying to split us up ever since. She is the reason I got out of diaryland years ago, she was able to dig deep and dredge up my couple of hundred old entries and tell my wife. She tells my wife of affairs I've never had, going to have and my wife ate this shit up. That Los Angelas woman cannot stand our union. My wife is always a wreck for months after a visit from her. I think she is some kind of vampire that feeds off negative emotions! She is the type to insult you in a syrupy sweet tone then re-insult you by asking you that fucking rude question "Don't you beleive in honesty?"
Is it just me or people who actually beleive in that "Honesty" are really truly sadistic people?
On a happier note, I also bought my wife two, count them, two new 'toys'. A gel vibrator about 7" long and a 4 speed eggy thing which is just the vibrating motor of most vibes without the mass. She loved them both, I used them on her last night......both units can be used underwater.....
Later.
