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This isn't a sex entry. It is a war entry.
I spent the majority of my life in the military, the Navy to be precise. I served in the first Gulf war, was scared shitless the first couple of times I boarded vessels, drank a lot.
I was glad to retire and wouldn't change a thing. But I miss the boys and girls I sailed with.
Strangely enough, I miss the soldiers I have never even met serving in Afghanistan. I feel guilty that they are there risking life and limb while I am here having a great sexual time.
I actually feel that I should be there doing my part, I don't like this feeling that someone is doing my job for me!
I would never tell my wife this but I would go over right now if asked. Not for the glory of combat, there is none, but for the satisfaction of pulling my owm weight in a shitty situation.
Truth be told, I would be scared 24/7. I know me. I have been quaking with fear in a lot of situations and not a soul has realized it. I have been accused of having ice water running through my veins.
I remember being outnumbered 3 to 1 in a bar. Staring at my opponents, I was shocked to see my fist hit the first one in the jaw.
I was thinking "Who did that?" "Whos fist is that?" "Why, it's mine!"
I got a couple more licks in but the end result was I got my ass handed to me in a basket. Later I heard the bouncer tell the cops that I was too stupid to be afraid. The jokes on him..lol I was petrified, well not petrified, I was mobile. I was sure scared though.
Just like the first time I had to board a vessel in the first Gulf war..I remember looking down at my legs and wondering who was running my body as I was tucked away in a little corner of my mind quaking. I even heard myself giving responses to the orders I was given! I really wonder if a lot of guys felt that way or am I a unique schizoid!
A little side note, none of the guys under me got hurt and we never hurt a soul either. I should imagine if it became violent I would have fought with my underwear full of shit.
I am glad it never came down to that. That being said, I don't like people fighting when I'm not there. Go figure.
On a more upbeat note, there was a girl on board who used to blow me once or twice a week for a couple of months..until I screwed up....as usual....lol....later.
